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Doctor-Patient Jokes: Such a scandal happened in the hospital that the doctor felt more dizzy than the patient, you will laugh after knowing the reason!
In today’s fast-paced life, everyone is entangled in some worry or the other. Work pressure, responsibilities and hustle and bustle make a person tired from within. In such a situation, if we learn to keep ourselves happy, then half of the problems automatically reduce. Laughter and smile not only lighten the mind but also keep away from many diseases and stress. There is no need to wait for any special occasion to laugh, just the heart should be light. Therefore, to bring a smile on your face, we have brought some funny jokes and jokes. You will start laughing as soon as you read these. So get ready for this fun journey of laughter!
Joke-1
Doctor: One of your kidneys has failed.
Santa- At first he cried a lot, then after wiping his tears he said, Sir, please also tell me by how many marks you have failed?
doctor unconscious
Joke-2
Pappu- Doctor sir, please give me some good medicine, I am having a lot of headache.
Doctor (after examination) – At this time you need rest the most. I am giving sleeping pills, feed these to my wife at night and sleep.
Joke-3
Doctor- How are you? Did you stop drinking alcohol or not?
Patient: Yes doctor sir, I have completely left it.
I just drink it if someone requests more.
Doctor: Very good…and who is this brother with you?
Patient: Yes, these are kept for request.
Joke-4
Patient: Doctor, are you sure I have malaria?
Doctor- Why?
Actually, I read about a patient that the doctor kept treating him for malaria…
When he finally died, it was discovered that he had typhoid.
Doctor: Don’t worry, this never happens in our hospital. If we treat someone for malaria, he dies of malaria!!!
Joke-5
Patient- Do the operation properly.
Doctor: Why did you say that?
Patient: Because there is only a little difference between surgeon and immersion.
If the operation is done properly then you are the surgeon and if your hand moves then it is my immersion.
Joke-6
Doctor to patient: What reward will you give me if you get cured by my medicine?
Patient: Sir, I am a very poor man and I dig graves.
I will dig for you for free.
Doctor lost his senses
Joke-7
Pappu went to the doctor
Pappu- Doctor sir, what disease do I have?
Doctor: Stop chasing girls.
Pappu- What will happen with that?
Doctor: If you don’t stop chasing girls, you will die soon.
Pappu- How can one die by chasing girls?
Doctor: Because one of those girls is mine too.
Pappu’s condition is bad
Remove EOL edge kit before cybercriminals strike • The Register
America’s federal agencies have been told to hunt down and rip out aging firewalls, routers, and other network gatekeepers before attackers use them as skeleton keys into government systems.
CISA has issued a Binding Operational Directive that orders federal civilian executive branch agencies to inventory and replace “end-of-support” edge devices – hardware and software that vendors no longer patch or maintain – in a bid to close one of government IT’s most persistent intrusion paths.
The directive, published this week, requires agencies to immediately update still-supported equipment and, within three months, produce a comprehensive inventory of edge devices to identify those past vendor support deadlines. Anything that’s fallen off the vendor support cliff has to be booted off government networks and replaced with kit that still gets security fixes. Agencies have about a year to finish the hardware spring clean, and two years to put tracking in place so they don’t end up quietly running abandonware again.
CISA is acting after years of watching obsolete edge hardware morph into reliable break-in tools. Firewalls, VPN gateways, routers, and other outward-facing security gear sit right on the network’s front line, and when one is compromised, it can open a surprisingly short path to everything behind it.
When vendors stop issuing patches, newly discovered flaws remain permanently exposed, turning those devices into what CISA calls a “substantial and constant” risk to federal networks.
Acting CISA boss Madhu Gottumukkala said unsupported devices have no business staying plugged into enterprise networks, pitching the directive as part of a wider push to toughen up federal systems against the steady drumbeat of cyber campaigns targeting both government and industry.
To help agencies comply, CISA plans to publish and maintain a list of edge devices that have reached or are nearing the end of support. The directive was developed alongside the Office of Management and Budget (OMB) and effectively adds enforcement muscle to long-standing federal policy requiring agencies to phase out unsupported technologies as quickly as possible.
The directive may be labeled binding, but it doesn’t come with financial smackdowns or handcuffs. CISA monitors progress with help from OMB, banking on the fact that agencies usually treat these mandates as something closer to law than guidance.
The agency is also urging state, local, and private-sector organizations to adopt similar cleanup efforts, even though the directive formally applies only to federal civilian systems.
The order lands amid a broader recognition that attackers increasingly target infrastructure rather than endpoints, exploiting network gear that may run quietly for years without attention. The directive makes clear that swapping out old hardware is now part of the security playbook, not just a line item buried in procurement. ®
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icc commentary team: Name of former Bangladeshi captain in the commentary team, if there is fear in India then what is the use of commentator here?
New Delhi. The names of those people whose voices will make us aware of every news of the World Cup in the next one month have been announced. The International Cricket Council (ICC) has announced a big and impressive list of commentators for the upcoming ICC Men’s T20 World Cup 2026. This time a total of 40 commentators have been included, which include veteran former players, former T20 World Cup winners and well-known names from the world of TV broadcasting. The surprising thing is that the name of former Bangladesh captain Athar Ali Khan is also there. Now the big question arises that if the team is in danger in India, then how can Athar Ali, who is part of the commentary team, remain safe.
This list is being led by legends like Ravi Shastri, Dinesh Karthik, Ian Bishop, Wasim Akram, Harsha Bhogle. Apart from this, it also includes names like Angelo Mathews and Temba Bavuma, whom you might not have heard before in the commentary role.
Bangladeshi in commentary team for ICC Men’s T20 World Cup 2026
Ravi Shastri, who has become the voice of cricket, will lead this panel, while Nasser Hussain, who is called the cricket brain, Ian Smith, Ian Bishop, Aaron Finch, Dinesh Karthik, Kumar Sangakkara, Samuel Badree, Robin Uthappa, Carlos Brathwaite, Eoin Morgan, Wasim Akram, Sunil Gavaskar, Matthew Hayden, Rameez Raja, Dale Steyn, Michael Atherton, Waqar Younis, Simon Doull, Shaun Pollock, Katie Martin, Harsha Bhogle, Mpumelelo Mbangwa, Natalie Germanos, Danny Morrison, Alan Wilkins, Ian Ward, Mark Howard, Nick Knight, Athar Ali Khan, Kaas Nayudu, Bajid Khan, Raunaq Kapoor, Niall O’Brien, Preston Momsen, Andrew Leonard, Russell Arnold, Roshan Abeysinghe, Angelo Mathews, Temba Bavuma. The name of Athar Ali Khan included in the commentary team has been the most surprising.
ICC Men’s T20 World Cup 2026: Broadcast and live streaming information
The ICC Men’s T20 World Cup 2026 telecast will have one of the most comprehensive coverage ever, with India at the center of the coverage. This time the responsibility of broadcast will be with JioStar. All the matches will be shown on television on Star Sports Network, while the digital streaming will be handled by JioHotstar. JioHotstar will provide viewers with commentary in multiple Indian languages, vertical live feed for mobile users and immersive features such as 360-degree view and multi-cam angles. Additionally, JioHotstar will also provide coverage in Indian Sign Language along with additional regional language feeds for key Indian matches, semi-finals and finals.
Art Basel Qatar: Making a new equilibrium in the Middle East | Arts and Culture News
Doha – The first-ever edition of Art Basel Qatar opened its doors with an exhibition-style art fair this week, first for VIPs and then the general public, along with a series of talks by eminent voices spread across upscale Msheireb in the Qatari capital, Doha.
This is the fifth event in Art Basel’s calendar after the original Swiss edition, which has also hosted prestigious fairs in artistic epicentres Paris, Hong Kong and Miami, and is historic as the inaugural Art Basel event in the Middle East.
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list of 3 itemsend of listM7 Msheireb Cultural Forum staged Pablo Picasso, Jean-Michel Basquiat, Shirin Neshat and other well-known artists – while the fair extended over multiple other galleries, crossing the opulent, yet understated courtyard with an interactive installation by South African Sumayya Vally, leading to Doha’s Design District.
![Pablo Picasso exhibit at Art Basel Qatar [Showkat Shafi/Al Jazeera]](https://www.aljazeera.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/s13-1770376081.jpg?w=770&resize=770%2C513&quality=80)
Aisha Ahmad, a 25-year-old Qatari artist, was taking her time in front of each art display to absorb the works in front of her.
She said it is hard for her to believe that she can see these artists in her own country.
“If you want to observe art like that, you would have to travel abroad. It’s exciting for the locals and amazing to see people from different countries, people travelling all the way to come to this country,” said Ahmad.
![Sumayya Vally’s plywood and cement eight channel sound installation at a Msherib courtyard at Art Basel Qatar [Showkat Shafi/Al Jazeera]](https://www.aljazeera.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/s22-1770375940.jpg?w=770&resize=770%2C513&quality=80)
Artistic director Wael Shawky designed the exhibit with a balance of representation, with half of the artists being from the Global South, in particular, the Middle East.
Shawky departed from the booth-like format that art fairs usually have, allowing art connoisseurs and buyers to see multiple pieces from the same artist for purchase. Art Basel Qatar had a gallery format, with each artist given a certain space to display their works.
Aiza Ahmed, a 28-year-old artist from the Pakistani diaspora who lives between the United States and Dubai, had an entire corner set aside for her with free-flowing muslin cloth mixed-media paintings of larger-than-life men in various uniforms.
![Aiza Ahmed’s mixed media installation at Gallery 1, Doha Design District, Msherib, Art Basel Qatar [Showkat Shafi/Al Jazeera]](https://www.aljazeera.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/s33-1770375846.jpg?w=770&resize=770%2C513&quality=80)
Ahmed praised Shawky’s direction, saying it gave her the space to finetune her exhibit and create something people from her part of the world can resonate with.
Ahmed said her inspiration was drawn from witnessing the flag ceremony at the India-Pakistan border, at Wagah-Attari, where border guards put on a daily display cheered on by the crowds on either side.
She was 10 years old, and the border drawn by British colonists left a deep impression on her, given her own family’s history of migration from India; first to Bangladesh, and then on to Pakistan when Bangladesh, initially East Pakistan until 1971, broke away to independence.
“It’s been a dream come true, really, and it’s been a privilege to work with him [Shawky], given the focus is so artist-driven, and to have been in conversation with him so closely,” says Ahmed.
Khalil Rabah, a Palestinian artist from Jerusalem, has an installation in the landing of Doha Design District, with various elements of household life and construction elements called “Transition”. Found objects and discarded materials are made into sculpture-like forms that represent uprooting, survival and reinvention.
![Sarah Al Mehairi’s ‘Off-centred’ series at Doha Design District, Msherib, Art Basel Qatar [Showkat Shafi/Al Jazeera]](https://www.aljazeera.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/s26-1770375784.jpg?w=770&resize=770%2C513&quality=80)
Loujain, 27 and Aalia, 25, who were experiencing Rabah’s installation, were visiting from Bahrain with their family. They said that seeing representation of regional and international artists was a welcome start.
“I want to see people from our parts of the world, and I want them to have the same platform and the same exposure, because you don’t feel like there’s a ceiling because of where you’re from,” said Aalia.
Loujain said local and regional artists have skills and different stories to tell, so they should be given a platform. “They have valued equity because the artists have aspirations, and across the board to give people [artists] weight, the weight they deserve.”
She explained that the regional artists have stepped up their game and presented art parallel to that of their peers around the world.
Nazar Yahya, 60 an Iraqi painter visiting from the US state of Texas specifically for Art Basel Qatar, said Shawky’s exhibition had affected him with a refined balance in his choice of galleries and artists, while his representation of artists of colour does not feel like a token gesture.
Yahya said it was important for him to see this new balance of representation because “it shows that in Arab countries we have [serious] artists”.
Sarah Al Mehairi, a 27-year-old Emirati artist, has a series of mixed media in paintings and sculptures in monochrome colours, making a dramatic exit from Gallery 2 of Doha’s Design District.
![Sarah Al Mehairi’s ‘Off-centred’ series at Doha Design District, Msherib, Art Basel Qatar [Showkat Shafi/Al Jazeera]](https://www.aljazeera.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/s36-1770375669.jpg?w=770&resize=770%2C513&quality=80)
Al Mehairi said Art Basel Qatar was not only memorable but groundbreaking for the Middle East.
“I would say that the region has always been serious and important for arts and culture, and with moments like these, Art Basel Qatar and Frieze coming to Abu Dhabi in November of this year, it’s showing that, you know, this is the centre right now. This is where people should be looking,” she said.
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When will the rain end? What the Met Office is saying after heavy downpours across UK | UK News
There is “no end in sight to the rain”, forecasters have warned, despite downpours having lashed Britain every day in 2026.
A yellow rain warning is in force for the West Midlands, and parts of the south of England and Wales, running until 9pm on Friday.
Homes and businesses could flood, power supplies could be affected, and some surface water flooding is likely because of the widely saturated ground, the Met Office said.
South West England and South Wales have faced 50% more rainfall than is usual for January, with rain every day of the year so far.
Overall, England received 150% of its long-term average rainfall last month, according to the Environment Agency (EA), with the South West region seeing 184% of the long term average rainfall in January.
In just the first three days of this month, the South East had received 32% of the long-term average rainfall for February, the EA said.
Rainfall totals varied from 13mm in England’s east to 43mm in the South West for the week from 28 January to 3 February, the agency added.
And forecasters predict that the rain will still be falling daily in those areas by Sunday.
“Unfortunately, there’s no end in sight,” said Dan Stroud, operational meteorologist with the Met Office.
Another band of rain in the South West will travel northwards on Friday with heavy bursts, he added.
And it is more of the same on Saturday, with heavy showers lashing the south in the morning, before gradually pushing up into Wales and the Midlands.
The southern and western parts of the UK will see yet another band of rain arrive on Sunday, it is predicted, though it should be slightly drier elsewhere.
Check the forecast for your area
Northern Ireland is also subject to a yellow rain warning until midnight on Friday.
While in Scotland, persistent cloud and rain will continue to affect the east of the country, including Aberdeen.
Read more:
Migrant crossings hit five-year low in stormy January
At least 35 killed after weeks of heavy snowfall in Japan
The city has seen no sunshine for two weeks – a record-setting period of gloom unrivalled in the area since records began in 1957.
Yet parts of East Anglia, the South East and perhaps west Scotland could see some brightness breaking through on Saturday.
Mr Stroud said: “Very little in the way of change, and the reason for it really is that we’ve got a big area of high pressure way out to the far north and east of the country, and that’s stopping areas of low pressure from moving through.
“Until that area of high pressure sort of shifts out of the way, we’re not really going to see much of a change in the forecast.
“At the same time, we’ve got the jet stream way to the south, bringing exceptional wet weather to Spain and Portugal.”
According to the yellow warning covering South West England and parts of Wales, up to 50mm of rain is predicted in higher places, with downpours of 30mm being widespread.
Higher places in Northern Ireland could face up to 80mm of rain, but 20mm is expected in the majority of places.
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Never say die attitude, not for naive F&O retail investors
F&O trading is a zero-sum game in which one participant’s loss is another’s gain.
Year 2026 is going to be even more challenging for F&O (futures & Options) traders, apart from routine known risks. While presenting the Budget on February 1, Finance Minister Nirmala Sitharaman announced an increase in the securities transaction tax (STT), stating that the move would “provide a reasonable course correction” in theF&O segment while also generating additional revenue for the government.
Accordingly from April 1, 2026, the STT on sale of options has been hiked from 0.1 per cent to 0.15 per cent on premium; for exercise of options it would be 0.15 per cent (0.125 per cent) and for sale of futures 0.02 per cent to 0.05 per cent.
Currently, option trading — especially index options — dominates trading volumes, with more retail investors fancying their chances there. The percentage of individual investors making losses remained at 91 per cent in FY25, according to findings by the Securities and Exchange Board of India (SEBI).
F&O trading is a zero-sum game in which one participant’s loss is another’s gain.
A recent Reuters report said Jane Street, which is facing SEBI probe for making undue profits through ‘manipulating’ bank options, had made net trading gains of ₹4,700 crore through its arm JSI Investment Pvt Ltd for FY25 and after-tax profit of ₹2,840 crore.
By imposing a steeper STT increase in F&O, the Finance Ministry is targeting the segment with the highest concentration of speculative retail activity. In an interview to businessline Sitharaman said: “We are not touching STT in general. We are touching only futures and options. And that is where we are getting continuously, people calling us to say people are losing money. And who are the ones losing money who normally don’t have that kind of a spare cash to speculate? So is the government supposed to sit and watch?,” she said.
SEBI initiatives
On its part, the regulator had also implemented several important measures such as limiting weekly expiries to just one index, hiking lot sizes and collecting upfront premiums from traders. SEBI also withdrew benefit of margin requirements for index derivatives on expiry days for calendar spread strategy (using two-month contracts) from last February. And, now the regulator wants to extend the same for single-stock derivatives as well, a step that could increase margin demands further to traders.
These measures have already impacted trading volume in F&O. Average daily turnover for equity options fell 24.6 per cent and 18.2 per cent (yoy) in December 2025 for equity options and futures respectively, according to NSE’s data.
Meanwhile, Association of NSE Members of India (ANMI) — stock brokers’ body — has approached the Finance Minister seeking a rollback and rationalization of the recent increase in STT, raising concerns over the higher levies significantly increasing transaction costs.
Contra views
Some market experts believe that this move will not curb speculative trading activity. Zerodha founder and CEO Nithin Kamath Kamath in social media “I know it’s an unpopular opinion, but this will remove a lot of uncertainty among brokers and traders. It’s a much better approach than death by a thousand STT hikes,” he said. He also suggested STT concession for cash segment, so that volume could shift from F&O to cash intra-day deals.
Though these suggestions sound valid and logical, one cannot brush aside the loss made by individuals. For individuals. it is more of a behavioral problem (not accepting the defeat easily) and in the process continue to lose more and more.
Rather than imposing excessive restrictions, SEBI could consider a temporary trading ban — say, for three months — if an investor incurs losses in three consecutive trades or ₹25,000 a month.
Published on February 6, 2026
As dietary guidelines target ultra-processed foods, Oz says change was long overdue
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The new dietary guidelines released this year target ultra-processed foods while promoting protein and easing up on saturated fats.
CMS Administrator Dr. Mehmet Oz told Fox News Digital the guidelines should have happened a long time ago.
“We’ve gotten America to realize what we’ve all, in medicine, known for quite a while — [that if] you eat healthy fats, the right amount of carbohydrates and focus on protein, you’re much better off,” said Oz in a recent on-camera interview.
HEART DOCTORS SAY MILLIONS OF AMERICANS ARE MAKING COMMON GROCERY MISTAKES — SIMPLE SWAPS CAN HELP
He said he’s already seen a push from the food industry to promote simple carbohydrates.
“All the white foods, white flour, white rice, white sugar — all these tend to create obesity,” said Oz.
“All the white foods, white flour, white rice, white sugar, all these tend to create obesity.” (iStock)
“Paradoxically, it’s not eating fat that makes you fat. It’s sugar that makes you fat, because your body processes it and stores it for future use,” he added.
FOOD PYRAMID FACES SCRUTINY AS BEN CARSON REVEALS WHY AMERICANS DON’T HAVE TO EAT MEAT
Fox News Digital caught up with him recently in Washington, D.C., during the premiere of the new documentary, “MELANIA.”
Nearly 15 million youths are obese, according to the CDC.
Over 40% of Americans over the age of 20 battle obesity, according to data shared by the CDC for the period Aug. 2021 to Aug. 2023.
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Nearly 15 million youths are obese, according to the CDC.
The new guidelines advise Americans to “significantly reduce” the consumption of highly processed and refined carbohydrates such as white bread, flour tortillas and crackers. (iStock)
The new guidelines advise Americans to “significantly reduce” the consumption of highly processed and refined carbohydrates such as white bread, flour tortillas and crackers.
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Board-certified and licensed dietitian nutritionist Kendall Mackintosh, based in Bethesda, Maryland, told Fox News Digital that refined “white foods” and highly processed grains are “among the most damaging components of the standard American diet from a metabolic standpoint.”
“Paradoxically, it’s not eating fat that makes you fat,” said Dr. Mehmet Oz in an interview with Fox News Digital. “It’s sugar that makes you fat, because your body processes it and stores it for future use.” (Kevin Dietsch/Getty Images)
“These foods have been stripped of fiber, minerals and natural nutrients, and they are absorbed quickly — leading to rapid rises in blood sugar and insulin,” said Mackintosh.
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“Over time, repeated insulin surges can drive increased fat accumulation, persistent cravings, systemic inflammation and a higher risk of insulin resistance.”
Foods that have been “stripped of fiber, minerals and natural nutrients” are very quickly absorbed by the body, said a board-certified and licensed dietitian nutritionist — leading to “rapid rises in blood sugar and insulin.” (iStock)
She added, “Despite decades of low-fat dietary messaging, it is often excess refined carbohydrates and sugar — rather than healthy fats — that strongly promote fat storage in the body.”
Mackintosh said the real issue is not fat from whole foods, but the “chronic overconsumption of processed carbohydrates that disrupts long-term metabolic health.”
In related news, Dr. Oz on Friday spoke with “Fox & Friends” about the new Trump RX website, which promises big savings on medications for Americans. “It’s fair … It will save money, it will save lives,” he said about the new initiative.
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Hundreds of thousands flee as fighting escalates in South Sudan | Genocide
A 2018 peace deal in South Sudan is unravelling, as government and opposition fighting escalates. The UN says the violence has forced more than 280,000 people to flee their homes. Malcolm Webb has more from Bor.
Published On 6 Feb 2026
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