Jess Wilson doing bombs into a swimming pool. Brad Battin in a muscle shirt curling 20kg, tattoos on show. John Pesutto throwing a discus, clad in blue jeans. Matthew Guy running, clutching a pink baton.
The current Victorian Liberal leader and three of her predecessors feature in a social media video to mark what would have been the opening ceremony of the regional Commonwealth Games on Tuesday – if the state government hadn’t cancelled them.
Dubbed the “Games that Victoria never hosted”, the clip is set to the 1989 track Pump Up the Jam and features a range of events not typically recognised by the Commonwealth Games Federation: the “running out of money relay”, “highest taxes and debt high jump”, “red tape hurdles”, “policy backflips”, “missed targets archery” and the “budget bomb”.
Highlights including Sandringham MP Brad Rowswell launching himself enthusiastically forward over the high jump, Warrandyte’s Nicole Werner running with an artificial plant almost as tall as her and Battin attempting something resembling either a handstand or a forward flip – it’s difficult to know.
MPs were asked in a group chat last Friday if they wanted to take part and told to bring activewear. Props came from Kmart. Regional MPs who travelled to Melbourne for parliament filmed their scenes on Monday.
Perhaps the most remarkable part of the video is how many agreed to be in it.
The cast includes the three former leaders, together for the first time, the party’s newest MP, a self-described “small l” Liberal, Rachel Westaway, and more conservative upper-house members such as Bev McArthur and Renee Heath, who are both facing preselection challenges this month.
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Wilson’s small social media team say they wrote, filmed and edited the video, replicating a formula from recent well-viewed Instagram reels, including one comparing the cost of corruption in the construction union to 2.4bn meat pies at the MCG, which drew the ire of the AFL.
The media team wanted to mark the opening ceremony date but were also conscious voters have grown fatigued of the issue. The Games were cancelled in 2023, costing the state almost $600m. At the time, it generated plenty of headlines but did little to dent support for the then premier, Daniel Andrews. A parliamentary inquiry and a federal inquiry followed, though neither particularly cut through, even when Jacinta Allan, the minister responsible for the delivery of the Games, took over as premier.
David Imber, a communications professional and “spin doctor” on ABC Radio Melbourne, says he was “genuinely impressed” by the video and believes it will get the attention of increasingly disengaged votes.
“The first frame and the last few frames are very strong. I feel they tried a bit too hard in the middle … it started to become like a school project where everybody had to get a go,” Imber said. “But I’m trying to find the negatives to be balanced here – I genuinely think I was a good outing.”
He also praised Wilson for “putting her body on the line”, joining the likes of Tony Abbott and Peter Malinauskas in the political tradition of appearing in swimwear, particularly given female politicians “get a terrible go on social media”.
“She clearly swims, it looked authentic,” Imber said.
The video has everyone at Spring Street talking. While Allan described it as “petty politics”, even Labor sources concede it’s funny and give Wilson credit for jumping into the pool. But they argue that Allan would be “torn to shreds” for doing the same – noting even her most benign social media posts are spammed with negative comments.
“The entire message seems to be based on ‘we’re not them’ and ‘they are shit’,” a senior Labor source said. “But there’s no policy, no vision for the future.”
Imber acknowledged the risks: “Some people who look at this and think, petrol prices are going up, [we’re] facing a war overseas, what are these high-paid people doing, playing school sports?”
But, he said, especially for political watchers, it’s designed to the show party room is “united” and “hungry to win” November’s state election.
“This could have been a very powerful 30-second message just by Jess but she’s chosen to make it longer and to include everyone,” he said. “I’m not sure why John Pesutto was in jeans but it was powerful everyone was there, from Bev McArthur to Brad Battin – that matters internally.”
After more than 12 years of opposition marred by internal divisions, perhaps the Liberals can start to see an election victory within their grasp – if they manage to fend off the One Nation threat. The video suggests they may even be prepared to compete as a team to get there.